Companion Cardiff

My personal experience started 15 years ago when I had a cleaning business I had a lovely lady Maria who's son lived away. She would ring up and ask me could I fit in an extra hour but instead of cleaning could I take her shopping, it was always a hilarious experience she was loud with her stern Portuguese accent. During her time with me I would turn up to clean but she would insist I sat with her drinking tea she would ask about my plans and tell me about her life growing up in Portugal.On occasions she would cry about the sad times she had gone through but mostly we would end up laughing about her many happy and funny experiences throughout her life. After a fall resulting in Maria breaking her hip she was too weak to return home I visited her daily at the hospital.

I had another lady who I originally went to clean for I would end up sitting chatting listening to how in the war the corset making company she was a seamstress for was turned into a parachute factory. I was amazed that she talked about it as just a job when I was flabbergasted at the thought of the lives this lady had saved. Occasionally I would drop her to her daughters or appointments.

I cleaned for an elderly couple for over 10 years they were amazing, Vi (Violet) was a retired school teacher Bill (William) was a retired civil servant. I was often asked to sit and chat a while with Vi over a cuppa and home made cake. On occasions I would drop Bill off to the hospital for outpatients appointments. I spent many hours listening to lots of old time stories about their families and how the met. When their health began to fail I would call in to check on them. Their daughter Lynda became their carer, I would fit in to give her some rest bite when Vi became bed bound, she became too weak to even speak but I would sit holding her hand talking to her about general day to day things she would smile, and now and then gesture if she needed a drink. Bill had several falls, Occasionally I would take him to hospital appointments while Lynda sat with her mum, sometimes vice versa. At aged 95 lovely Vi passed away, after his wife had gone a fall just 7 months on saw Bill hospitalized. I regularly visited him in hospital, dementia took hold and Bill deteriorated rapidly just 8 months after his wife, Bill passed away he was 97..

For 7 years I was a carer for my mother (pictured with myself above) she was diagnosed with early onset dementia in 2011. In April 2012 she had a fall on her way to the shops which resulted in her not wanting to go out of the house alone it also progressed her dementia. I moved back to Cardiff from Aberystwyth to be near her September 2012. As her care providers weren't really giving the care she needed I took on the roll of carer I eventually gave up most of my cleaning jobs to take care of her myself. and spending all day every day with her, playing cards, taking her out for a drive in the car, ice-cream at Penarth pier, walking around Victoria park and when that was to tiring I got a wheelchair to take her out. She had many appointments often she would get very upset sat in a waiting room telling me I had brought her here to die. I would console her by getting her to sing which I think was a little embarrassing for other people waiting when she would look at them trying to egg them on to join in with one of her favorites 'Here we are again, happy as can be, all good pals and jolly good company'. Sometimes you have to do whatever you can to find other peoples happiness.

Unfortunately my mum's dementia progressed and the little gentle quiet lady that my mum was became so distressed and disorientated. The last year of caring for mum I would be up 5\6 times during the night when she would barricade herself in her bed room tie knots in clothing to escape out of her bedroom window (we had adjusted the window opening long before this so she was never going to be able to actually get through it). She would punch out in the darkness at people that weren't there and cry for her mother who passed away in 1982. It became a very difficult time and I had to eventually give up and do what I had promised myself I would never do I had to let mum be taken care of by someone else. She moved into a care home where they took good care of her and whilst I still had reservations I could ring any time with any concerns I may have had and there was always someone to reassure me. My mum was in her care home just over a year before she was struck down with Covid -19 in November 2020. She was admitted to hospital where she deteriorated quickly. My brother and I were allowed into the ward during her end of life care. She fort an agonizing battle for 4 days. It has been a difficult time.